Magic

“ spirit, come back to me
give me strength
set me free
let me feel the magic in my heart”

~ny~

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Every Thursday, at some point, i wonder aloud if anyone from the office is going out tonight.

They all know that I mean, coming to the Open Mic. Linda will tell me who she expects that night. If there is time, we may tell a story or two….Sammy giving her daughter his cd, Linda singing ‘Me and Bobby McGee’, Dr. I showing up!!!…..

So, if they are going, that means i HAVE to go. Which is bad and good. Good, cause it means i HAVE to go. Bad, cause it means i HAVE to go.

I don’t like HAVING to do much of anything. I do like getting up there and singing for folks. But…

Every thursday night, i go home and check my email and putz about and get my guitar in her case and maybe play it a little before i do that…..and contemplate NOT going. But i have to. They expect me to be there. What do I say in the morning if I don’t go?

So, always later than i planned, i get into my car and drive east….that is when the mind starts working…..something along the line of….

I am such a fool for doing this. People are laughing. Why the FUCK would someone my age be heading out on a thursday night, thinking ANYONE would want to spend precious moments of their day listening to me singing some neil young song. Shit. People are so kind, putting up with that. Really. They must be laughing at me. I am such a fool.

I go on that way for most of the half hour drive, trying to figure out why these folks from my office go to this thing. Must be to see Sammy or Fred, they are soooooo good. Yep.

So i sit out in the parking lot for minutes, deciding to go in or not. Now, i notice, they wait in the parking lot for me……lol.

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I still don’t know why they come, but i do know that i am soooo appreciative that they do. Cause i do love to get up there and sing for people and bang that guitar, and i don’t think i would get myself there if i didn’t have that ‘They are there, i GOT to go’ thing.

There are really not many things in this world that equal creating music…..the spirit that music brings into a space is so special. The high is so very high. To be a part of helping that spirit get out there is a real privilege.